6th Sunday of Easter 2024
Acts 10:25ff; 1 John 4:7-10; John 15:9-17
Do you get the impression that St. John is trying to tell us something? Might that be “Love one another”? If so, what does it mean?
Many moons ago—during the last week of January 1987, to be precise, which is 444 moons if my arithmetic is correct—I was leading a course for Fifth Years (Year 11 in new money) in other words 15 to 16 year olds, at the Diocesan residential Youth Centre at Castlerigg Manor. They came from Fisher/More School, Colne, who invariably sent a good gang of young people, these being no exception.
During one session, having broken up into small groups, we were discussing the topic of love, and I asked my group if anyone could define love. Needless to say there was total silence, so I said: “Right. I will give you a definition which I have thought of, and you tell me what you make of it. I would say that love is wanting what is best for the other person”.
Again there was silence for a moment; then a lad named Darren (who will now be in his fifties) commented “Well, I think you are about half right”. “Tell me more” I responded, intrigued. “I think” continued Darren, “that it is wanting what is best for the other person, and wanting what is best for yourself as well”. I have spent the last thirty seven and a quarter years trying to work out whether he was right.
What do you think? Who thinks that was a better definition of love? Ponder it. Is it perhaps a matter of emphasis? May it be the case that, if you are genuinely wanting what is best for the other person, you will, by definition, automatically be wanting what is best for yourself? Or does that lay you open to abuse? Answers on a postcard!
Throw something else into the mix! Our Lord comments “No one can have greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends”. That is what He went on to do, clearly wanting what was best for us, and judging correctly what that was. Was it best for Himself as well? In human terms, clearly not, yet it may indeed have been so, as being the completion, the fulfilment, of His destiny as man.
When preaching at a wedding, I have been known to tell people about the carpet sewing room. For three summers in the 1960s, I worked in the carpet and beds department of the Co-op, at Market Square, Lancaster, where TKMaxx is now. The Co-op building stretched, on the upper floors, along much of New Street and Church Street, and was a warren of passages with rooms leading off them. Sometimes I was sent on an errand to the carpet sewing room, where Lena presided over a small corps of ladies, who would be binding the ends of newly sold and cut carpets.
An enterprising and artistic member of staff had decorated the walls of the room with a series of cartoons, all depicting Charlie Brown, and carrying a caption beginning “Love is…” One of them remains in my mind to this day. It was a night time scene, with a crescent moon in the sky. Snoopy was lying on the roof of his kennel, whilst Charlie Brown stood on the back doorstep of his house, clad in a nightshirt, and carrying a glass of water. The caption read “Love is bringing someone a glass of water in the middle of the night”.
There are more ways than one of laying down one’s life for one’s friends—or one’s spouse. Sometimes, this may involve a huge sacrifice, but more often than not it will be a small, niggly, perhaps annoying need to put yourself out for the other person. And if you are not prepared to do that, then it is unlikely that you will be willing to make that major sacrifice if it should come down to hey-lads-hey.
At the same time, I should repeat that we ae not required to lay ourselves open to abuse. If the other person shows no willingness to respond in kind, then something is amiss.
Where do we gain the strength to practise this self-sacrificing love? It comes from God, who gives us both the ability and the example. God sent His Son into the world, and that same Son gave Himself up to death for us. In the Eucharist, that self-sacrificing death, the ultimate act of love, is made present for us again. That is the effective sign of God’s love for us, and it should give us the strength to love others, whatever definition of love we prefer.